I can relate. I get asked a lot and sometimes I don't mind answering and sometimes I feel very annoyed. I was trying to reflect why I would react one way or another. If I sense someone is curious then I tend to give a short 'honest-ish' answer. But to be honest, there is no good short answer for me. I have lived in 5 countries and I can't exactly give a good short answer. I do feel however that asking this question too early in a conversation comes across as rude in general as it does 'other' someone. When this happens, I tend to give a curt answer like 'I live here'. I have a tactic which tends to quell this question a lot, a way of 'blending in' if you like. I drop subtle cues in conversation which show I understand Aussie culture, for example, using an Aussie slang word like 'did you forget your brolly?'. Sometimes, I sense that the other person is burning to ask me this question but is too polite to ask even though they are very very curious. Sometimes I put them out of their misery by volunteering a small bit of information so they can better 'fit' me into a category of some description (in their mind). Ultimately, most people want to know how to connect with you, so they ask. As you said they are no easy categories for many of us (shout out to mixed-culture or mixed-up kids!) or even all of us. Just be aware and continue to learn from different cultures and social contexts.
Hi Ying. Thank you so much for taking the time to read my post and sharing some of your experiences. I have had times when working in Australia when people have interrupted me straight away, so eager to guess/confirm my accent. It does at times annoy me and has made me question my motives when I'm eager to find out where someone is from. Yes sadly most humans like to put others in categories whether we realize it or not, but yes also I optimistically believe people often ask questions to find ways make a connection. We just need to be careful about our approach.
PS Five countries, that sounds fascinating/amazing, ha! One hope I can live in at least one more before I die.
Great article Alex, gave me reason to stop and think before I ask that question again!. Usually its just curiosity for me because I love travel and other cultures, but I totally understand from living in the US for 2 years, it can also be annoying, especially when you are not in the mood for that type of conversation, no matter how well intentioned. Sometimes I just wanted to fly under the radar and not be asked lots of questions.
Thank you so much for reading and subscribing, Annette! Some people LOVE to be asked the question as well. It's so tricky; I don't think anyone ever gets it completely perfect every time.
And last but not least, in every US movie, without even watching the plot, I usually like to guess if the drugs dealer would be Mexican or the villian are Russian communists. I think that's a more valid generalization. Still i think we shouldn't generalize because it can be certanily annoying. Have a nice day!
Hi Alex! First of all, I really liked the article. It's Nice. However, I'd like to ask you something about it: Are you sure that the waitress's presumption was due to the fact that your brother has blonde hair and blue eyes? Look, I follow your brother and i think it has nothing to do with his appearance, it's because of his way of speaking Spanish. On the other hand, we should not generalize that much: Particularly Argentina, unlike our neighboring countries in Latin America, had a massive Italian immigration at the beginning of the 20th century, which is why it is full of blonded hair, blue-eyed people and We don't believe a priori that they actually speak English.
Thanks for reading Max! And yes you make a good point, I don't know why exactly she spoke in English to him; there I go making assumptions again. ;) Although my brother tells me wherever he goes in Latin America, he regularly has people speaking English to him. It was mostly from his stories that I saw I had to be more careful presuming people spoke Spanish, just because I thought I detected an accent. And even if people do speak the language, that does not mean they necessarily want to practice with you. Forever learning!
Hi Alex,
I can relate. I get asked a lot and sometimes I don't mind answering and sometimes I feel very annoyed. I was trying to reflect why I would react one way or another. If I sense someone is curious then I tend to give a short 'honest-ish' answer. But to be honest, there is no good short answer for me. I have lived in 5 countries and I can't exactly give a good short answer. I do feel however that asking this question too early in a conversation comes across as rude in general as it does 'other' someone. When this happens, I tend to give a curt answer like 'I live here'. I have a tactic which tends to quell this question a lot, a way of 'blending in' if you like. I drop subtle cues in conversation which show I understand Aussie culture, for example, using an Aussie slang word like 'did you forget your brolly?'. Sometimes, I sense that the other person is burning to ask me this question but is too polite to ask even though they are very very curious. Sometimes I put them out of their misery by volunteering a small bit of information so they can better 'fit' me into a category of some description (in their mind). Ultimately, most people want to know how to connect with you, so they ask. As you said they are no easy categories for many of us (shout out to mixed-culture or mixed-up kids!) or even all of us. Just be aware and continue to learn from different cultures and social contexts.
Ying
Hi Ying. Thank you so much for taking the time to read my post and sharing some of your experiences. I have had times when working in Australia when people have interrupted me straight away, so eager to guess/confirm my accent. It does at times annoy me and has made me question my motives when I'm eager to find out where someone is from. Yes sadly most humans like to put others in categories whether we realize it or not, but yes also I optimistically believe people often ask questions to find ways make a connection. We just need to be careful about our approach.
PS Five countries, that sounds fascinating/amazing, ha! One hope I can live in at least one more before I die.
Great article Alex, gave me reason to stop and think before I ask that question again!. Usually its just curiosity for me because I love travel and other cultures, but I totally understand from living in the US for 2 years, it can also be annoying, especially when you are not in the mood for that type of conversation, no matter how well intentioned. Sometimes I just wanted to fly under the radar and not be asked lots of questions.
Thank you so much for reading and subscribing, Annette! Some people LOVE to be asked the question as well. It's so tricky; I don't think anyone ever gets it completely perfect every time.
Loved this, thanks.
Thank you for reading Linda! <3
And last but not least, in every US movie, without even watching the plot, I usually like to guess if the drugs dealer would be Mexican or the villian are Russian communists. I think that's a more valid generalization. Still i think we shouldn't generalize because it can be certanily annoying. Have a nice day!
Hi Alex! First of all, I really liked the article. It's Nice. However, I'd like to ask you something about it: Are you sure that the waitress's presumption was due to the fact that your brother has blonde hair and blue eyes? Look, I follow your brother and i think it has nothing to do with his appearance, it's because of his way of speaking Spanish. On the other hand, we should not generalize that much: Particularly Argentina, unlike our neighboring countries in Latin America, had a massive Italian immigration at the beginning of the 20th century, which is why it is full of blonded hair, blue-eyed people and We don't believe a priori that they actually speak English.
Thanks for reading Max! And yes you make a good point, I don't know why exactly she spoke in English to him; there I go making assumptions again. ;) Although my brother tells me wherever he goes in Latin America, he regularly has people speaking English to him. It was mostly from his stories that I saw I had to be more careful presuming people spoke Spanish, just because I thought I detected an accent. And even if people do speak the language, that does not mean they necessarily want to practice with you. Forever learning!