Creativity and Desire
The connections between art and lust are well known and regularly examined, from classic literature to gossip columns.
A few weeks ago I had a wild and amazing opportunity to organize, host and perform at a sexy burlesque poetry night with some incredibly talented people.
I posted about it on Instagram if you want to read about the amazing acts we brought on, but for the Weekly Write, I’d like explore creativity and desire, as the two tend to intertwine in my life.
I remember reading a silly internet meme that said “take your broken heart and make it into art.”
Folks joked that Adele’s breakup would unquestionably lead to an amazing new album, and, hello, have you listened to pretty much any song by Taylor Swift? The connection between art and lust are well known and regularly examined, from classic literature to gossip columns. Look no further than the greatest book of all time, Narcissus and Goldmund to examine the interesting link between desire and creativity.
Years ago a French musician in a sharehouse in Melbourne explained to me that his sexual frustrations were once so out of control that he started busking on the street as a desperate attempt to place his desires somewhere. As a result he got better at music and it helped him land a lover too, no surprise.
But is everything as sexual as we think it is? At a yoga retreat at the end of 2020 I was introduced to the Yamas of yoga, and one stuck out to me, “Brahmacharya”. I will probably butcher the definition, but it’s basically a theory that the human spirit has a variety of needs and demands and also processes to deal with them. For example, what we think is sexual desire might actually just be a need for understanding. It’s about staying true to oneself and prioritizing the pursuit of knowledge over impulsiveness. It is interpreted by some as your run-of-the-mill celibacy, but for once it made celibacy seem kinda cool, a bit like delayed gratification.
There’s also a Girls episode about this, Hannah’s ex’s new partner Mimi Rose opts to choose herself over any man. (If I recall correctly) Hannah finds a video of Mimi Rose online giving a lecture on the power and reward that comes with prioritizing art over lust/sex/romance etc.
So intense feelings can misguide us. I have had moments where I’ve felt I was losing my mind to desire only to be intimate with another and feel even emptier than before. Of course the opposite has happened as well; sometimes we are just genuinely desperate for human connection.
Sometimes I feel on edge, antsy, full of energy/rage/wildness. Sometimes I don’t know if it’s lust or just a need for ANY kind of attention, but I’m finding more ways to calm down. Having a stimulating, authentic conversation with another can place me in a completely different reality. Yoga helps me too, all the time.
I know not everyone is like me.
“Believe it or not, Alex, some creativity is not at all related to desire or sex or loneliness” I say out loud to myself.
A good example of nonsexual art might be interior design or architecture ha. (Then again phallic sculptures can be found in most cities on earth, soooo.)
Anyway this is all relevant to the Burlesque night in that where we place our energy when we feel this fire in our belly brings different results. You could make a hit song, you could find a lover, you could humiliate your family. (Maybe all three, lulz.) As I watched these amazing acts around me read, recite, strip, dance, sing, hold space, I see the unique ways we have to channel our thoughts into this world and how some strategies have better outcomes than others. The night was put on with the help of a grant, thank you to Kodi of Rhino Milk Productions. Money makes it much easier to prioritize creativity sometimes.
On the night I performed two poems that I wrote years ago; still reciting the same damn lines nearly ten years later. I was reminded that, if I wanted, I could be more productive and intentional with my feelings and desires.
Does any of this make sense at all? Maybe I just need some prescription drugs. Thanks for reading. Stay tuned for more bad takes and strange poems.