big wins and new friends
Don't forget your agency. Seek out nice, inspiring people.
In the throes of event planning last week, I knew that I had NOT written the world’s best Substack poem for my weekly Monday night entry. I had grand plans of writing a really amazing piece about the power of music which I could actually perform on stage for said event, but when you’re busy trying to do one thing well, you don’t always do other things well unfortunately. I’ve still got this poem about why music will save the world rolling around in my head, but I guess it’s just not ready. Thank you to those of you who did not unsubscribe.
Tonight I wanted to write a quick little thing as I come down from the high of organizing the first annual Carrington Folk Festival which miraculously sold out even though two weeks ago we were sitting on what seemed like low ticket sales.
In August, after I came back from the States on my grand southern bus trip, I was not in a great place. I felt angry at many things about my career. I felt increasingly undervalued. I had three disappointing experiences in a row in late October/early November and I felt myself becoming bitter. I felt helpless. I wrote angry poetry and a dramatic Substack. I was convinced leaving town would make things get better. Idealism and community-mindedness took a back seat to nihilism and hedonism.
But as I sit here after a big win and new friends, I feel like I’m looking back at sad November Alex through a new lens. (Insert quotes about why failure is great for learning and character building, yada yada yada.) I now can better understand how to take control of bad situations. I don’t need approval from someone with higher status, more power or a bigger wallet to attempt something cool, enjoyable and maybe even (gasp) profitable.
Back in the sad Alex era in early November, I sat on a panel at the University of Newcastle with several really talented people where I felt a bit like a fraud. I won’t go into my woes (this is not a pity post), but I do want to mention two things Zana Kobayashi of the Newcastle Art Gallery mentioned when the MC Tom Pahlow asked her for advice in navigating a creative career.
The first thing Zana said that resonated was (paraphrasing) ‘find the people who inspire you and go work with them.’ It’s something I guess I’ve always tried to do, but I had never actually thought about the act of doing it. I like that she made me think about that.
A few weeks earlier at Dorrigo Folk Festival, I ran into, again, the joyous fiddle-playin’ Naomi Jones, with all her cool musician mates. She was there to play music and seemed so fun and magnetic, a thing I’d observed about her several times previously. I liked her energy. I liked that she liked and played the music that I liked. I wondered if she would ever do a thing with me.
Perhaps it is a bit nuts to collaborate with a person you don’t really know to put on a fairly labor intensive all day event. The results could have been very different. But as it turns out, Naomi is not only really fun, skilled and talented but also responsible, reliable and easy to work with! Together we somehow managed to bring together awesome musicians to play and jam all day for a music-loving, multigenerational, communal crowd in Carrington, traditionally known as Onebygamba.
So many things could have gone wrong, and of course we had a few micro catastrophes, but (assuming the money from the ticket sales comes in shortly, ha) everything ultimately went well. And now not only do I admire Naomi Jones, but also I feel like we have a friendship too! Lucky me. Soon we’ll be making plans for Carrington Folk Festival 2025.
The second thing Zana said that fateful day was (paraphrasing less this time) “Don’t be a dick.” When people are good to work with, it makes what you’re doing better. She’s totally right. And you can have the most talented person in the world on your team, but if they’re a jerk or an ego maniac or whatever, everything becomes worse. As Naomi and I collaborated and met the people in each others’ friends groups, I realized how many fun, kind people she knew and played music with. I think she liked my friends too. The niceness was spreading!
At my wrap up meeting with Naomi this morning, I wrote down our rule for all Carrington Folk Festivals and life in general.
”Only work with nice people.” Grammatically I think it should have said “Work only with nice people,” but you know what I mean.
Anyway, I hope all this doesn’t sound like the Carrington Folk Festival has gone to my head. (Has it?) Maybe it has. If you aren’t in my city or you’re not a folk music fan, you might not care. Fair enough if you don’t, but my main point for tonight is that if you are struggling with your self worth (and everyone does), don’t forget that you have agency and inner strength. Don’t forget that nice, inspiring people are everywhere and they can be really great to work with. Try not to become bitter, if you can help it. It does no one any favors, least of all yourself.
Now I just have to write a really good poem about why music will save the world.
Things I’m reading or learning this week.
Because of the festival I have barely had time to read or watch anything leisurely, but I have been enjoying Boy Swallows Universe on Netflix. It’s funny and sad at the same time and makes me think about both Australian culture and masculine culture. It’s good, but it has lots of violence. I can handle about one episode per week.
Congrats Alex! An inspiring read. Keep going