An open letter to Trump and Harris supporters
hear me out and please don't hate me
I picked a helluva week to take a booze break.
I’m speaking of course about the US election, and I’m not surprised at a second Trump presidency although I would have preferred a different result. According to the Australian post, my vote for Kamala Harris arrived in Bowling Green, Kentucky just in time to be counted, but I had to pay $40 to express post it. I felt like the biggest dorky democracy enthusiast paying money to make sure my ballot arrived to a red state where I knew it wouldn't make a difference anyway. I wish the US made it easier for expats to vote. I wish I could get a guarantee that my vote actually got counted once it arrived. I wish voting was ranked choice and compulsory in the United States as it is in Australia.
Since Wednesday I have been glued to the screens, not getting back to people and reading hot take after hot take. I have talked to friends and family in the States who have voted different ways, and I have spoken to all kinds of opinionated Australians. (See some of the interesting articles I’ve read are at the end of this Substack.)
The first time Trump was elected I lost the plot, big time. I posted nonstop on social media and had a few meltdowns. I felt rage when I learned a friend had voted third party, how dare she?!! At that point I didn’t think a Trump election was a remote possibility.
After I recovered from the shock, I tried to make a conscious effort to find more people who thought differently than me. I started listening to people with criticisms of the left, and people who the left despise. I have a low tolerance for Joe Rogan, but I will occasionally give him a chance. Jordan Peterson, Ben Shapiro and Candace Owens fans I am not, but now I can understand how their opinions resonate with certain audiences.
I tried and failed to read Fox news, but I found this media website Ground News to be incredibly eye opening. It helped me understand the world better than I did.
According to their about page: “Ground News is a platform that makes it easy to compare news sources, read between the lines of media bias and break free from algorithms.”
After Trump, the world changed in ways we could have never imagined. Covid fractured what was left of a shred of common thread between communities and pitted us against each other. We lost trust in the media and one another. Between the pandemic and other events during that era, most were trapped at home, full of rage and ready to fight for anything.
But things got better. The borders opened. We could go out to eat again. Vaccine mandates were lifted and we started interacting, hugging one another even. But things were different. I don’t know if it’s Covid-specific but the evidence tells us that young people in particular are in a bad place. The afore mentioned Ground News recently published that half of gen Z voters are lying about their politics for fear of judgement.
Some people on the left will read this and think ‘oh god we’re going to lose her to the right.’ Commentary is everywhere right now about what the left has even become but, seeing as I continue to vote for the greens in Australia and the dems in America, seeing as I continue to advocate for public transport, vegetarianism, reproductive rights, the arts, sexual liberation, multiculturalism, curiosity, creativity, nature as therapy, environmentalism, common ground, seeds of peace, etc I’d like to stay on your side. But I fear judgement by the “woke lefties.” I’m sure I don’t acknowledge my many privileges nearly enough, among many other faux pases. I fear retribution in just writing this Substack, as I attempt to convey a message of unity in a world where you’re either with us or against us. Have potential democrats similarly feared judgement from this party and looked elsewhere for community?
In terms of the right, I specifically dislike Trump’s personality and rhetoric more than any one specific offensive comment he’s made, and I’ve certainly heard (maybe even said?) similar “locker room banter” in my life. The fact that this public tactlessness is acceptable to millions of people is so depressing. Since Trump entered politics I’ve wanted a shirt or a logo that says something like “manners fucking matter” Or “be fucking polite” and yes I recognize the irony of the swearing in this. I’m for freedom of speech, but it breaks my heart that the candidate the majority of Americans voted for is rude as hell and that’s if we’re giving him a big benefit of the doubt. (And I’m not even getting into the party’s actual political agendas.)
In 2021 The New York Times ran an epic series of Trump’s insults that you can actually sort chronologically!
But then I hear the way the left talks about all Trump supporters, and I pause. Here are a few examples I pulled from the comments of the posts I’ve been glued to all week.
I value when people can talk to one another with respect, but then again, what matters more: what you say or what you do? I know I’m barely scratching the surface here.
It’s 1:23am, but before I sign off, here’s a challenge to my dear readers who haven’t abandoned this Substack.
To Trump Supporters:
If you voted for Trump (this would be unlikely given my circle of readers, but never-the-less) if you stumble upon this blog, please don’t think the left is all queer-theory-reading, out-of-touch, woke, rich, PhD-educated, white-hating, man-hating, Marx spouting, communists. I have some friends who voted for Harris who fall into this category, (and I’ll love them as long as they’ll have me) but it is not all of them. My Trump-supporting siblings stateside, do you know who most of my friends who voted for Harris in the states are? They are teachers, they are hard workers and they are mothers. They are mothers who wear their heart on their sleeves and want their children to grow up in a place with opportunity, choice, fairness and a healthy planet for their children’s grandchildren. They do not speak badly nor judge people who think differently to them. (Plus, some of them even own guns!) They would give anyone who needed it the shirt off their backs, they would feed you and your family, and they would take you in if you were homeless and alone. Please do not tar all Harris supporters with the same brush.
To Harris Supporters
And to my left-leaning friends of whom I know are far more likely to be reading this Substack, I beg you to consider that despite what your media tells you, despite what many of your friends (who follow the same Instagram accounts) tell you, that Trump supporters are all racists, misogynists and authoritarians who hate minorities, (and yes they exist in both parties) instead for a moment to consider the possibility that lots of Americans, (not just white male uneducated Americans) were tired of every single issue on the left being reduced to overarching isms like racism, sexism and capitalism. Consider the possibility that many Trump supporters do not want to bring back the KKK. Consider the possibility that most Trumpers do not want to criminalize homosexuality nor put women back in the kitchen. (Though I am pretty sure a majority didn’t want their kids at the drag shows.) No doubt many of them feared what they didn’t understand, but perhaps a lot of them, (despite what the loud left will have you believe) like Harris supporters, just wanted to afford groceries, wanted their kids to be safe, wanted to protect their families, wanted to put food on the table, wanted to have a roof over their heads, a home on planet earth for their children’s grandchildren. I might be wildly wrong, but just entertain that idea for a moment, if you can. What could it hurt?
Most humans want the same things, but we disagree on the best way to get there. Since 2016 I have come to better understand that no one likes feeling hated. And people in both parties hate the other, are scared of the other.
I implore Trump and Harris supporters alike, please, reach out to people who think and vote differently to you. This doesn’t have to end in hate. This election day does not have to be the end of democracy.
Things I’ve read this week
Bernie Sanders post election statement.
A Lighthouse For Dark Times by Maria Popova
The Democratic Blind Spot that wrecked 2024 Ezra Klein in the NYT
Trump offered men something the democrats never could NYT
What the Left Keeps Getting Wrong by Thomas Chatterton Williams in The Atlantic.
Black and Latino Men Talking about the election AP NEWS
A fatal miscalculation’: masculinity researcher Richard Reeves on why Democrats lost young men The Guardian
Maybe now Democrats will address working class pain NYT
Thanks for a good read Alex. It’s one hell of a ride. I’ve had to stop watching it
Alex this is such a thoughtful and, particularly while listening to your audio recording, impassioned piece of reflection. I don't have a lot to add, except empathy for what you've expressed.
I'm looking forward to reading Maria Popova's piece you shared - I wondered, as I was reading your piece and the other links you shared, if you've engaged much with Robert Putnam's work? He wrote a seminal book on community in the 90s called 'Bowling Alone', about how he observed people 'joining' less groups and community activities across the second half of the century, particularly groups outside of their regular social circles.
There's a good interview with him from a few months ago, with the NYTimes, that speaks to many of the points you made in your piece here, that you might find interesting: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sqZ4Po4vMAQ